We walk up the steps to the patio. He hands it to me. Breathe in. I hand it to her. Around and around. It’s been a long time, much too long a time. I couldn’t really remember, anyway.
My head is in my hands, between my knees. It takes me a while to catch by breath. I hear the world before I can see it. It can’t wait, especially the sun. She has to say her final farewell. She demands I say mine.
Hip, knee, ball, toe. Hip, knee, ball, toe. I clutch him. I don’t know how I got up here. It seems much longer now. We sit. I can’t see through the night anymore, only hear my way through it.
Laughing. Feet pattering. Arms wrapping. Water dripping and rushing and rippling and warming and cooling and spilling and pushing and pulling and leading and following. Hearts beating, blood speeding, eyes darting, breath falling, heads turning, bodies shivering, lips parting. Towels moistening, blankets spreading, clothes falling, suits snapping. Beers cracking, lighters flicking, smokes ashing, bowls cashing.
...time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…
It’s too cold to stay out here. I’m wet from before. I’m shaking. The steam from the water’s heat screams at me. He’s waiting. I still can’t look up, not all the way.
We slip in. Four pools, four temperatures. Warmer, warmer, warmer. I get a one second glance up at the meteor shower. The horizon is unstable, sucking the night in faster than I can look down. I spin. The star patterns burn into my eyes. More than I ever imagined possible. Arms out, he leads me. My body drags behind in pieces, toes last, perfectly suspended.
...time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…
I peek up. I win the battle with the horizon. I turn my belly up so the water can hold me there, arms out, legs out. Floating, he pulls me.
I think of my sister. She says she can’t go in the sun because thousands of freckles burst through the surface of her skin, more than she imagines could ever fit on her face.
My sister and the sky. Her freckles and its stars.
...time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…time…